Test hypotheses

 The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer. 

–Henry David Thoreau

Based on your observations, form hypotheses (theories) about what's going on. For instance, "Priya needs to learn when to speak up and when to listen to what others have to say."

But, as you form theories, ask yourself if you've done anything to cause or enable the problem behaviors you're observing. For example, consider these tendencies:

• Unrealistic expectations. Are you using your own performance as a yardstick to measure others? Assuming that others' strengths are the same as yours is unrealistic and unfair.
• Inferring feelings. Are you failing to identify with someone who's having a problem? Your anger or frustration may communicate itself to the employee and affect performance.
• Failing to listen. Have you missed signals that the person needs help? If you haven't listened carefully in the past, you may have passed up chances to help earlier.
• Failing to praise. Have you failed to compliment the employee on something he or she has done well? If so, the employee may lack the confidence or motivation to perform well.
• Failing to model desirable behaviors. Have you practiced the skills and behaviors that you expect of your employee? If not, the person may not realize how important certain behaviors (such as listening) are.

Ask the colleague afterward to describe what he or she saw. These additional observations can help confirm or refute your conclusions.