Initial Discussion: Link observed behaviors to impact on others

Key Idea
When you meet with your employee to share what you've observed, discuss your observations of the employee's actual behaviors, instead of suppositions about his or her personal character or motives. Try to begin the coaching session with a positive observation and then focus on any constructive feedback you have to deliver.

For example: "Priya, I want to compliment you on your participation in last Tuesday's meeting. You clearly did your homework, as always. There's one area where your participation could be even more effective. Specifically, I noticed that you interrupted Tony before he could express his view. I've observed similar things in previous meetings."

Next, explain why the observed behavior is a problem. Cite its impact on group goals and on coworkers:

For example: "Priya, we didn't get a chance to hear Tony's contributions because you interrupted him. We need to hear from everyone to make the best decisions. And if one or two people dominate meetings, our team spirit may suffer."

Throughout this discussion, avoid stating supposed motives, such as "Your habit of interrupting others indicates that you want to dominate people," or "This behavior tells me you're not open to new ideas and that you don't like this type of work."

To affect a positive change in performance, cite the impact of your coachee's behaviors on group goals and coworkers. Listen as Priya receives feedback about her tendency to interrupt others.