What people don’t understand about coaching is it’s not an extra thing, a separate thing to have to do in addition to what’s probably already a really full plate. And they feel overwhelmed, because they already have so much to do. People are working harder. They have less resources. They’re stressed. They’re overwhelmed. And if they think, “I have to now coach my people on top of everything else,” then they don’t do it, because they think it’s a separate thing.
It’s not a separate thing. If you’re managing your people correctly, coaching is a natural part of your one-on-one meetings. So that really leads me into the one-on-one meeting thing, because a lot of people don’t take the time to have a face-to-face — one-on-one — meeting. And if it’s a virtual team, you do it over the phone.
But you have to have at least 30 minutes or 20 minutes a week with each direct report. It’s really important. And in those meetings, that’s where you do your coaching. You’re giving feedback, constructive feedback. You’re giving them guidelines, guidance about how they’re doing their job, their responsibilities. You’re communicating your expectations.
That’s where the coaching happens. It’s part of your regular job. It’s not something you do separately, OK? And coaching means giving support, giving feedback. It’s allowing people to learn, to grow, to understand what they’re doing well, and delivering what I call constructive feedback.
And if you ever call it negative feedback, I suggest striking that from your vocabulary. Replace negative feedback with the word “constructive.” If I said to you, “I’m going to give you some negative feedback,” immediately it puts you on the defense. It’s like, OK, I’m going to get slammed.
But if you say, “I’ve got some constructive feedback that I think might be helpful,” and you give them that feedback. And as you’re coaching, ask questions. “Have you thought about such and such?” Or, “Help me understand why you made this choice, which might be the best thing, but I’m a little perplexed.” Ask questions and give concrete feedback.
Don’t just be global and say, “You know, you really need to be more detailed.” You say, “In this part of the report, if you put some quantifiers, some numbers, some statistics, that would be really helpful. How about statistics about the number of people that are repeat clients? Put that in there.” That will be more compelling. Give them specific information.
And in those one-on-one meetings, it’s very important that you create a very supportive environment. You want to take the time to make them feel comfortable. It doesn’t have to be a long meeting, but do things like meet with them at a conference table, sitting next to them, as opposed to across your desk.
Because when you’re delivering feedback across the desk, it puts you in the role of kind of, “I’m the expert, I’m the boss.” And it can be very intimidating for the other person, and then they shut down and don’t hear the feedback.
So you want to make it comfortable. Always deliver what they’re doing well first. Talk about, “This is what I really liked about this and you’re doing a great job.” And, “The things that I think could be improved upon are such and such.”
So always deliver the positive first, and if it’s really hard to come up with, just say, “I really appreciate the effort that you made here.” Find something that you can tell them to make them feel good, especially if you’ve got some constructive feedback coming up after. It’s really important.
But don’t make coaching something as a separate burden that’s going to overwhelm you. Integrate it into your day-to-day interactions with your direct reports. That’s how you’re going to get your coaching done.
To maximize the value of coaching, integrate it into your day-to-day interactions with your direct reports. It’s not a separate thing. If you’re managing your people correctly, coaching is a natural part of your one-on-one meetings. So that really leads me into the one-on-one meeting thing, because a lot of people don’t take the time to have a face-to-face — one-on-one — meeting. And if it’s a virtual team, you do it over the phone.
But you have to have at least 30 minutes or 20 minutes a week with each direct report. It’s really important. And in those meetings, that’s where you do your coaching. You’re giving feedback, constructive feedback. You’re giving them guidelines, guidance about how they’re doing their job, their responsibilities. You’re communicating your expectations.
That’s where the coaching happens. It’s part of your regular job. It’s not something you do separately, OK? And coaching means giving support, giving feedback. It’s allowing people to learn, to grow, to understand what they’re doing well, and delivering what I call constructive feedback.
And if you ever call it negative feedback, I suggest striking that from your vocabulary. Replace negative feedback with the word “constructive.” If I said to you, “I’m going to give you some negative feedback,” immediately it puts you on the defense. It’s like, OK, I’m going to get slammed.
But if you say, “I’ve got some constructive feedback that I think might be helpful,” and you give them that feedback. And as you’re coaching, ask questions. “Have you thought about such and such?” Or, “Help me understand why you made this choice, which might be the best thing, but I’m a little perplexed.” Ask questions and give concrete feedback.
Don’t just be global and say, “You know, you really need to be more detailed.” You say, “In this part of the report, if you put some quantifiers, some numbers, some statistics, that would be really helpful. How about statistics about the number of people that are repeat clients? Put that in there.” That will be more compelling. Give them specific information.
And in those one-on-one meetings, it’s very important that you create a very supportive environment. You want to take the time to make them feel comfortable. It doesn’t have to be a long meeting, but do things like meet with them at a conference table, sitting next to them, as opposed to across your desk.
Because when you’re delivering feedback across the desk, it puts you in the role of kind of, “I’m the expert, I’m the boss.” And it can be very intimidating for the other person, and then they shut down and don’t hear the feedback.
So you want to make it comfortable. Always deliver what they’re doing well first. Talk about, “This is what I really liked about this and you’re doing a great job.” And, “The things that I think could be improved upon are such and such.”
So always deliver the positive first, and if it’s really hard to come up with, just say, “I really appreciate the effort that you made here.” Find something that you can tell them to make them feel good, especially if you’ve got some constructive feedback coming up after. It’s really important.
But don’t make coaching something as a separate burden that’s going to overwhelm you. Integrate it into your day-to-day interactions with your direct reports. That’s how you’re going to get your coaching done.
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